My Juicing Journey

Never Juice an Onion!

Oh My Goodness. Are you ready for a juicing 101 class?

ImageBreville + Onion = Fail

I tried a white onion first.  I chased the family from the house.

So I went to the milder red onion. Again, looks of disdain from the wife as onion fumes got into our ventilation system and filled the bedroom at the other end of the house with oniony goodness.

Then I tried the milder still and only half of a vidalia.  Scenario same.  By now wife and daughter think I am doing it on purpose as a prank.  Knowing me, it could have been.  But wasn’t.

The thing is, I love onions…cooked, raw, baked, soups, on sandwiches…just love love love them.  I am not quite to the level of my Uncle Ronnie who has been known to pull over at a roadside veg stand and buy one to eat as one would an apple. But I do enjoy them and they add good flavor to things; needed flavor.

In my quest for a V-8 type drink, I felt it was imperative to have an onion in the mix.  Well, I was down to my last option, little green onions no bigger around than a pencil.  Still Epic Fail!

I put them in the juicer early on and almost immediately the fumes were released, blown into the juice pitcher where they swirled around, gathering speed and vortex that would humble a tornado and right back out through the spout which was pointing to the wall.  Upon colliding with the wall (and removing paint and years of kitchen build up) it ricocheted off and hit me squarely in the eyes. 

I just recently got glasses and am not used to trying to rub my eyes with specs in the way.  Note to self, you cannot grasp your eyes through concave pieces of plastic!  My unprotected eyes were soon the watery victim of the oniony onslaught.  As water filled my eyes and dripped onto my glasses, further blurring my already impaired vision.  I started trying to quickly cut a tomato with a knife.

Knife + Lack of vision = dangerous situation.

After nicking my finger I grabbed the whole, rather large tomato and tried to cram it into the feed chute. My thought was that it would plug one of the ports of exit for the noxious gas and perhaps water down the pungent aroma.  Wrong.

What happened was it didn’t fit, so I had to try to cram it, blind down the food chute. FAIL.  It got stuck.  So I attempted to use the handy Breville tamper.  It worked but only after it overly large tomato.  So now I am blind, bleeding, and have bits of tomato seed in my hair.

I tossed the blasted tamper toward the sink in frustration and just started trying to shove as much into the food chute as possible. Hoping to ease the escaping aroma and end my misery.  But now I have an opening the size of a medium apple at the vertex of the vortex created by 100 teeth swirling at 40,000 rpm!  That, my friends is a recipe, for flying juice droplets and bit of vegetative matter sailing through the air and sticking to the wall and cabinets like brain matter in a Tarantino film. 

Did this cause me to stop.  No!  I am male, I am mad, and my eyes hurt.  So I decide the answer is to just work faster so I can be done and go outside. So I cram the beet into the whirling dervish of delight i call a juicer.  Still without a tamper.  Yes, Honey,  that is why your counter top is now purple.

Well, I did eventually get done and did go outside.  the only problem…it had just rained and the wild onions are in full growth this time of year. It smelled as strong outside as it did inside.  Next time, I think I’m making grape juice.

This did actually happen to me while making my latest juice “Very Nearly V-8”. As much as it did work to bring the right flavor. Do not put yourself though the agony.  Just use a bit of onion powder.  Same things goes btw…for garlic.  My wife came home about 5 hours after this event and noted “Whoo, baby, you been using garlic?”

One other reason not to juice an onion, it will permeate a juice if you have nay left over and store it in the fridge and turn an otherwise delightful beverage into something that is virtually undrinkable.

Let me know your juicing stories and tell me if you have conquered the juiced onion monster in some other way.

Juice On; Join the Journey!

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This entry was published on March 16, 2012 at 4:25 pm. It’s filed under Food Tips, Juicing, Recipe, Vegetables, weight loss and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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